Dear blessed married/in a relationship ones,
On behalf of all of us, single beings, I’ve compiled some of your statements that we do not want to hear from you ever again. Kindly read, understand, and memorize in case you do not want to receive any of our frowns and smirks in the future:
- “May irereto ako sa’yo.” (I have someone to introduce to you.)
I appreciate your desire to be cupid but sometimes we, singles, find it funny especially if you’re going to match us with a boring, stupid, and unattractive person with absolutely nothing in common with us. Just because we’re single, it doesn’t mean that we’re desperate to fall in love with an ‘unqualified’ being.
- “Babaan mo naman standards mo.” (You have to lower your standards.)
Ok. So should I date this single guy with poor hygiene, anger management issues, below sea level IQ, & 0 ambitions in life, and who treats his helpers like slaves, and who flosses his teeth once a year? I have a lot of flaws but I’m old enough to follow my beating heart (and mind). Believe me, the world will become more cruel and heartless if I would follow your advice 🙁
- “Kailan ka ba mag-aasawa?” (When will you get married?)
What’s the rush, kiddo? I still need to figure out why pineapple pizzas were invented by humans.
- “Tandaan mo, may biological clock ka. Mahirap manganak kapag matanda ka na.” (Remember, you have a biological clock. It’s hard to give birth when you get older.)
Sorry to disappoint you but I’ve been trying this new craze called immaculate conception :))
- “Nakita ko ‘yung ex mo.” (I saw your ex…)
Are you now reading tabloid news? Let go, darling. I’ve forgotten my past faster than the length of time Kendrick Lamar’s lyrics stayed in my memory.
- “Mag-isa ka lang talaga? Sinong niloko mo?” (Were you really alone? Who are you fooling?)
You do not trust us if we went out alone. Like we’re cripples unable to live a life of our own. Sometimes we just want to invent a robot companion just for the sake of skipping your interrogation.
- “Sinong pinopormahan mo?” (Who are you dressing up for?)
Does this mean that we are no longer entitled to look good for our own weird reasons like a) wearing our cute girly dresses b) trying out a new lipstick shade c) wanting to look good in photos d) I have this hallucination last night that I will become a model someday
- “Dapat kasi nakilala mo ko noon.” (You should have met me before.)
[This statement usually comes from an ugly or stupid married/in a relationship guy who thinks that he could have been our life saver.] Thank you very much for your long-shot wish-upon-a-star; but we’re single because of arrogant people like you.
- “Mag-ayos ka kasi.” (You should fix yourself!)
OK, this is the opposite of #6 so I don’t really get it. If I go out without make-up, with hinangin lang sa labas hairdo, and if I wear my old loose clothes, you’d blame my ‘singlehood’ on my current state? Your concept of love must be more shallow than your IQ level.
- “Walang mag-aalaga sa’yo kapag tumanda ka na.” (Nobody will take care of you when you get old.)
Let me get my abacus. Aren’t caregivers, adult daycare centers and home for the elderly cheaper than funding a wedding, a C-section delivery, raising a household of three++, and sending kids to universities? I am also taking multi-vitamins to make sure that I would become immortal.
- “Wala pa ba?” (Is there nobody yet?)
[Usually comes from relatives who ask this golden question in every family reunion/gathering]
Tito/Tita, kaunti na lang, magpapagawa na po ako ng T-shirt na may printed “WALA PA! NEXT QUESTION PLEASE.” in bold, all caps, and bloody red color.
Remember, patience is a virtue.
- “Lumabas ka kasi.” (You should go out.)
Yes, I am trying hard to live a life of a prostitute/young teenager but I’ve only managed to find gays and shallow guys in bars.
- “You’re missing out on life.”
To tell you frankly, I don’t envy your life and wrinkles. Maybe you should get a life while I’m living my own life.
We appreciate your concern. Thanks, but no thanks. You would probably never understand our lives as single beings but I can summarize it with just three words: WE ARE OK. So go on with your lives and stop questioning us.
Love,
single and happy Jazz