I am 30 years old, single, all of my siblings are married and 80% of my friends are either engaged or married. The common questions I’m confronted with nowadays are “Do you have a new boyfriend?” and “When will you get married?.”
Enter the mash-up of the grandfather’s clock (tik tok tik tok) and The Jaws’ theme song (ten den den den den den den…boom!). For most people, I’m now in danger zone. The “menopause” of starting a new chapter in life. The fork of my dim road that would decide which path I’m going to traverse for the rest of my life: the bliss of wedded normalcy or the wretchedness of living the matandang dalaga life.
Cue an exact scene from Ms. Philippines Q&A portion:
Host: Do you feel the pressure?
And if I may utter the infamous quote from the beauty queen, let me plagiarize her exact line:
“No, I don’t feel any pressure right now (smiles)”
The whole point of this post is not to lament the barrage of prayers I’ve been getting, but to help single people like me who may be broken-hearted, desperate, lonely and hopeless, but could still rock the life of singlehood. So folks, if you happen to be single and you feel the pressure 24/7, don’t fret… ‘coz singlehood could also mean bliss (At least for me ;-)). So without further ado, let me share with you some of my tips on how to rock FREEEEEEDOOM!!!
1. If you’re feeling a little bit low on self-esteem, just look up on divorce rates, the number of your friends and relatives undergoing infidelity brouhaha, messy diapers and even messier time management (no more me time). Then, smile. Sometimes, singlehood is a blessing.
2. Kill the memory. If you’ve just been in a relationship or you can’t get over your past, wallow in the agony. Cry megabuckets of tears but only for a week or two. Then, it’s time to move on. Clean up the mess. Bury your old pictures, erase the sweet patweetums messages, distance your self from all associated eateries, theme songs and all those cheesy ties. Replace the bad memories with new ones.
3. Surround yourself with people who have positive outlook in life. Because the more you hang out with depressed people, the higher probability that you’ll live a depressed life too.
4. Work but don’t overwork (or else you’ll end up being a spinster). Work is the best cure to forget that you’re single. Plus the more you work, the more money you could have. But then, learn how to party or else you’ll end up being a lonely anti-social foreeeevahhh.
5. Cherish your independence. There’s nobody requiring you to update him/her, nobody to ask permission to, nobody to accuse you that you’re flirting, and nobody to give you that mean look when you accidentally stared into the eyes of a mysterious stranger. Look all you want, the freedom is yours.
6. Running low on endorphins because you miss the idea of being loved and being told all those superlative adjectives? The best solution is to RUN. It’s always the best cure for problems and low self-esteem. Run with your thoughts and upbeat music. Feel the speed and ward off those lonely thoughts. Running is all about your own self, your own pace, and the realization that being alone could also be fun! Plus, it makes you burn lots of calories, too!
7. Be comfortable with yourself but don’t talk to yourself aloud in public. Most people who’ve just gotten out of long-time relationships get depressed because they’re not used to “living” alone. It’s alright not to depend on someone. Independence will always be best lived when you start getting to know yourself better.
8. Travel alone. It sounds scary at first but believe me, it’s one challenge you wanna experience in life. You get to meet a lot of people plus discover your self better.
9. Never feel sorry for yourself. Feeling ugly, unwanted, rejected and unloved? Hello, just because you’re single, it doesn’t mean that you’re despicable. There are plenty of meaningful and entertaining things to do than pity yourself (See #10).
10. Bored being single? Here’s my list of meaningful/entertaining things to keep you preoccupied:
a. Eat chocolates. But be sure to work out after.
b. Read books.
c. Learn a new sport.
d. Watch beautiful live music.
e. Hang out with your friends and family.
f. Travel.
g. Think of a new business.
h. For ladies: Go to the gym and look at all those fine-looking men with badass abs all you want. But be careful ‘coz the finer looking their faces and muscles are, the higher the probability that they’re gay 😉 Or better yet, watch a triathlon or swimming to take a glimpse of hunks with well-defined calves and ooohlalah buns in fitted tri suits/skimpy trunks. (But let us not call ourselves maniacs, ok?)
11. Never settle for a man you don’t like out of desperation. Remember: It’s better to be a happy spinster than be a lonely wife/husband who’s never in love with her husband/wife from day one. Love with all the right standards and all the right reasons.
So next time they ask you the big question, answer loud and proud: “I’m single and I’m enjoying my freedom ;-)” (Translation: KEBER MO!)