Dear future baby,

I’m going to be honest with you. I was expecting a different turnout. I initially hoped that you’d be the baby I imagined. I am sorry that for sixteen weeks, I was fixated on having this mini version of me, sewing tiny floral dresses, and fantasizing about braiding your hair. I even had a list of names for the other gender.

Maybe the universe has other plans. At sixteen weeks, I was not prepared for your gender reveal. I was only visiting our doctor to check if I still had low placenta… but to my surprise, while we’re having our ultrasound, your tiny organ was already protruding and saying hello. You are unmistakably MY BABY BOY.

I still cried tears of joy, and the sight of your growing body (and genitals) did not diminish my happiness of having you in my life. Don’t worry, I will neither dress you up in girly dresses nor braid your hair. But don’t be surprised if you see photos of you wearing your cousins’ pink clothes or butterfly and floral-designed swaddles from my online shopping boo-boos. The important thing is that you’ll turn out healthy and happy, while being mindful of the environment with you wearing more hand-me-downs than new unnecessary purchases. I am also slowly learning some cloth diaper 101, with cute fabric designs for your bum.  I have also sewn matching dinosaur pajamas for you and I… as we will surely watch our favorite old school film named The Land Before Time.

As you probably know by now, we already picked a name for you. I think that you’re already familiar with the sound of your name, as I greet you with your adorable name everyday. Sometimes you would respond with a few kicks, but maybe you will kick me when you grow older as you might hate learning how to write it for the first time. Take note that your Mama’s name has two more letters than your lengthy name (you have no license to get mad at me haha).

You might think that I was disappointed when I found out about your gender, but the funny thing is that I didn’t even care. I realized that a gender is just a gender, and it will never affect my love for you or how I intend to raise you in this world. I was more than happy knowing that you’d be my baby boy, the little dinosaur inside his Mama’s tummy.

Love,

Your Mama

You may also like:

Mama's Metamorphosis
India: How I Got 'Curried' Away
Our Birth Story
Meteora: My Utopia in Greece

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