(Scroll down if you wanna read a slightly better English Google Translate version.)
Heto na naman ako. Minsang nasaktan, naghangad ng pag-ibig, naghintay… at inakalang may forever. Nandito na naman at sugatang muli. Sige, sabihin niyo nang suki na ako ng kamalasan sa puso. Story of my life ko na yata ang maging bigo sa larangan ng pag-ibig.
Pero hindi ako nagsusulat para kaawaan niyo ako. Hindi rin ako naglalabas ng pait para itanim sa lahat ng basura na walang forever. Dahil sa kabila ng lahat ng sakit (enter Adele’s laslas moment songs), nananatili pa rin akong positibo na babangon din tayong mga heartbroken. Pasensiya na sa mga kinilig at naghangad ng mga langgam at keso para sa akin. Nandito na naman tayo. Mukhang irereto niyo na naman ako sa kung kani-kanino.
Kaya habang dinarama ko ang sakit, nais kong makatulong sa mga taong kagaya kong nasaktan at singgol na naman. Paano ba tayo makababawi sa pagiging heartbroken? Gumawa ako ng listahan para naman ipaalala sa inyo na huwag maging tanga sa oras na kinokontrol na naman tayo ng mga mapanirang emosyon.
1. Relaks lang. Humingang malalim. Huwag mong sisihin ang iyong sarili o ang ibang tao. Intindihin mo na hindi lahat ng bagay ay kaya mong kontrolin. Hindi rin lahat ng bagay ay para sa iyo.
Ano man ang nangyari sa iyo, huwag mong ipasa ang pagkasuklam sa iyong sarili. Sinaktan ka niya? Kasalanan niya ‘yon. At kung may pagkukulang ka man, huli na ang lahat. Wala ka na ring magagawa. Dalawa kayo sa relasyon kaya hindi mo dapat inaaako ang lahat ng pagkakamali.
2. Matuto ka. At tanggapin mo ang iyong situwasyon.
Sabi nga nila, lahat naman ng karanasan sa buhay natin, may aral na ibinabato sa atin. Kung naging tanga ka, itanim mo na sa kokote mo para sa susunod na pagkakataon, mas matalino ka na at hindi na lang puro emosyon ang papairalin mo. At kung ikaw naman ang nanakit sa taong nagpaloko sa iyo, hindi pa huli ang pagbabago.
3. Huwag kang manghinayang. Know your worth. Huwag mong ipagpilitan ang sarili mo sa ayaw ka na. At huwag mo ring ipilit ang sarili mo sa ayaw mo.
Tandaan mo, hindi lang siya ang lalaki o babae sa mundo. Maaaring hindi ka na makakatagpo ulit ng kagaya niya, pero hindi naman titigil ang mundo kung wala kang mahahanap na kapares mo. Hindi ka inutil kaya huwag kang manghinayang. At kung nawalan ka na talaga ng gana sa taong dati mong minahal, magpakatotoo ka na sa sarili mo.
4. Magmukmok ka pero lumabas ka rin.
Okay lang namang namnamin mo ang sakit sa umpisa. Okay lang na magbabad sa lungkot at mag-emote. Healthy namang ilabas mo ang iyong luha. Pero hindi niya deserve ang isang galong luha mo. Lumabas ka rin at magpakasaya.
5. Bumangon kang muli. Matutong mabuhay nang mag-isa.
Be amazing. Magworkout ka. Pagalingin mo ang iyong sarili. I-date mo ang iyong sarili. Ok lang kahit wala ka ng kamay na kakapitan. Gumawa ka ulit ng mundo mong kaya mong tayuan nang mag-isa.
6. Don’t generalize at huwag kang gaganti.
Kung nasaktan ka, huwag mong isipin na lahat ng lalaki o babae ay ganoon din. Iba-iba ang tao. Kung sinaktan ka, huwag mo itong gawin sa susunod mong partner. Hindi sagot ang pagganti sa anumang bagay.
7. Matuto kang magpatawad. O matuto kang humingi ng tawad.
Huwag mong dalhin at bitbitin ang sakit dahil ikaw lang ang mahihirapan. Unawain mo ang mga rason kung bakit nagkaganoon. Hanapin mo ang kapatawaran, kahit mahirap. At kung ikaw naman ang nagkamali, pagsisihan mo ang iyong kasalanan at sabihin mo sa kanya kung bakit mo nagawa iyon.
8. Gamitin mo ang sakit para sa mga mas makabuluhang bagay. Turn it into art. Make use of your energy to something more useful.
Gawin mong inspirasyon ang lahat ng emosyong nararamdaman mo. Gawin mo itong art, music, o anumang bagay na may kahulugan. Huwag mong sayangin ang panahon mo sa pagkulong mo sa nakalipas.
9. Alalahanin mo na hindi lang ikaw ang nasaktan sa mundo. Being broken is a universal feeling.
Hindi lang ikaw ang kaawa-awa sa mundo kaya please lang, huwag mong itapon ang magandang buhay sa likod ng anumang pait na nararamdaman mo. Huwag mong idamay ang iyong trabaho at mga tao sa paligid mo. Makinig ka sa mga kanta, magbasa ka ng mga libro, manood ka ng mga pelikula. Halos lahat naman yata nagdaan sa ganitong klaseng pait. Tao ka lang.
10. You can’t get over overnight. Move on one day at a time. Find yourself on your own.
Hinay hinay lang. Huwag mag-alala dahil hindi ka naman basta-basta lang makakabangon. Move on one day at a time. Minsan mas madaling makawala kapag nahanap mong muli ang iyong sarili nang mag-isa.
11. Let go. Move forward. Maniwala kang muli.
Darating din ang para sa’yo. Maniwala ka. Kung wala man, sorry ka na lang. Este, mabuhay ka. Babangon din ang mga tala.
P.S.
Huwag kayong mag-alala sa akin. Okay ako. Hindi (pa) ako nawawalan ng pag-asa dahil masarap magmahal.
Nagmamahal,
Tita Jazz
For my English-speaking friendships, here’s a slightly better version of Google Translate:
Here we go again. The cycle begins anew — being heartbroken, longing and waiting for love, feeling and believing that love exists. And repeat. Here I am, heartbroken again. Maybe I am really unlucky when it comes to love. Maybe it is my life’s narrative to always fail in love.
But I am not writing this so you could take pity on me. I am also far from spreading bitterness to that four-letter word. Because beyond all this pain (enter Adele’s emo moment songs), I remain positive that we, dear fellow heartbroken people, will someday recover from pain. Apologies to all my friends who wished too much cheese on my failed forever. It looks like you will set me up with random men again and again (please don’t!).
So while I am still feeling the pain, I want to help people who’ve loved and ended up being single again. How will we recover from being heartbroken? I made a list so we could all learn to shrug off these poisonous emotions that control us and turn us into monsters.
1.Relax. Take a deep breath. Do not blame yourself and other people. Understand that you cannot control everything in this world.
Whatever happened to you, do not carry the burden. There are two people in a relationship and you should not bear the load on your own. If your partner hurt you and caused you pain, it is his fault, not yours. And if you had shortcomings, it is too late. You can no longer do anything.
2. Learn to accept your situation.
As the old wise men say, all experiences in life teach us lessons. If you were stupid, learn from your mistakes so the next time you’re confronted with the same situation, you’ll be smart enough to realize your stupidity. And if you were the one who caused pain, it is never too late to change your ways.
3. Do not regret a bad ending.
Know your worth. Do not force yourself to someone who clearly cannot reciprocate your love. Remember that he/she is not the only man or woman in this world. You may no longer meet someone like him/her in this lifetime, but the world will not stop in case you have failed to meet your match. On the other hand, if you were the one who lost the spark, be true to yourself. Be honest and stick with your decision.
4. Grieve for your loss. But move on and go out after some time.
It’s alright to feel the pain after your breakup. It’s okay to feel like the world is crumbling down. It’s healthy to cry but he/she does not deserve a gallon of your tears. Stop sulking after some time. Go out and be happy.
5. Rise up. Learn how to live alone.
Be amazing. Work out. Date yourself. It’s alright if you no longer have a hand to hold on to. Build your universe that you can fit in and where you can stand up on your own.
6. Don’t generalize and do not seek revenge.
If you got hurt, do not think that all men or women will always be like that. Each person is different. If you were hurt, do not repeat your former partner’s mistakes. Revenge will never solve anything in this lifetime.
7. Learn how to forgive. Or learn how to ask for forgiveness.
Never carry your baggage of pain for it will only inflict you with more misery in the end. Understand the reason why it happened. Find forgiveness even if it hurts. And if you were the one who made a mistake, repent and let your former partner know why you did it.
8. Use your pain to make something productive and meaningful. Turn your energy into something more useful.
Turn your emotions into your inspiration. Mold it into art, music, or anything that has meaning. Do not waste your time caging yourself with something that’s already gone.
9. Remind yourself that you are NOT the only one who feels pain in this world. Being broken is a universal feeling.
You are not the only poor aching throbbing soul in this world so please do not throw your good life away just because of a bad ending. Listen to songs, read books, and watch films– pain is out there. Being broken happened to (almost) everyone. Including you.
10. You can’t get over overnight. Move on one day at a time. Find yourself on your own.
Do not rush this moving on phase. Relax. Do not worry if you still feel pangs of pain and loneliness. Move on one day at a time. Sometimes it is easier to let go once you’ve found yourself again, on your own.
11. Let go. Move forward. Believe again.
The one for you will come at the right time, says the people who will try to comfort you. Maybe it is okay to believe that. But if there’s nobody for you, live with it ‘coz life goes on.
P.S.
Do not worry about me. I’m alright. I will not lose hope for love is a wonderful feeling.
Love,
Tita Jazz
Hiya, I’m really glad I have found this information. Today bloggers publish only about gossips and internet and this is really annoying. A good site with interesting content, that’s what I need. Thanks for keeping this web-site, I will be visiting it. Do you do newsletters? Cant find it.
Glad to be one of many visitants on this awesome web site : D.
I was very pleased to find this web-site.I wanted to thanks for your time for this wonderful read!! I definitely enjoying every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you blog post.
I like your writing style truly loving this web site.
This internet site is my aspiration, really fantastic style and perfect subject material.
Hiya, I am really glad I’ve found this information. Today bloggers publish just about gossips and net and this is really irritating. A good blog with interesting content, that’s what I need. Thanks for keeping this web site, I will be visiting it. Do you do newsletters? Cant find it.
I went over this web site and I think you have a lot of superb information, saved to fav (:.
Hello my family member! I wish to say that this post is awesome, great written and come with almost all important infos. I would like to peer more posts like this .
Thankyou for helping out, fantastic information.
of course like your website but you need to test the spelling on quite a few of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling problems and I to find it very bothersome to tell the truth nevertheless I will definitely come back again.
It?¦s in reality a great and helpful piece of information. I am satisfied that you just shared this helpful info with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.
I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out proper here. The comic strip is tasteful, your authored material stylish. nonetheless, you command get bought an shakiness over that you want be turning in the following. sick definitely come further in the past once more since precisely the similar nearly very continuously inside case you shield this increase.
Thank you for every other magnificent article. The place else may anybody get that type of info in such an ideal approach of writing? I’ve a presentation next week, and I am at the look for such info.